ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
literature
Dream
Deviation Actions
Literature Text
~Dreams~
Replies of wide eyes
And finger to lips –
Hands beckoning me to follow.
Silence is golden,
But the rays of the full moon
Are silver.
Creeping forward with stealth,
And pulling the blanket of leaves back
Reveals what made my heart clench.
Suspicions made true,
My mind's not deceived.
In the most tender of ways,
The sweetest smile
Visibly glows in the dark.
And across from that smile is another,
With train tracks
Running through it.
The smiles meet.
My heart chokes.
My palms sweat.
My eyes flutter open.
I wish on the stars above me
That I could call it a dream.
Replies of wide eyes
And finger to lips –
Hands beckoning me to follow.
Silence is golden,
But the rays of the full moon
Are silver.
Creeping forward with stealth,
And pulling the blanket of leaves back
Reveals what made my heart clench.
Suspicions made true,
My mind's not deceived.
In the most tender of ways,
The sweetest smile
Visibly glows in the dark.
And across from that smile is another,
With train tracks
Running through it.
The smiles meet.
My heart chokes.
My palms sweat.
My eyes flutter open.
I wish on the stars above me
That I could call it a dream.
Here ya go, Maddie.
Hope, this is the peom form of my dream.
Andrew, not. A. Word.
This shouldn't require too much explaining... but yeah. Hope you like it
(C) moi
Hope, this is the peom form of my dream.
Andrew, not. A. Word.
This shouldn't require too much explaining... but yeah. Hope you like it
(C) moi
© 2012 - 2024 HinPink
Comments12
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Hello my name is MasterSaruwatari. I am a critic from the prose/poetry group Grammar Nazis. I shall be taking a look at your called, “Dream".
First off, I have to say the title of your poem is very powerful. The use of imagery is amazing. You make very realistic and logical connections to the Dream world and reality that make sense. It seems you have been listening to the song," I'm Beaming" by Lupe Fiasco. I feel the same themes and elements in that song is in this poem, which I think is excellent. The flow is amazing too, and I feel I can see myself rapping off of this poem. Great job my friend. You wrote a very powerful piece of writing.
You get....::
:::::: out of 5. I hope my feedback helps you become a better writer.
-MasterSaruwatari
First off, I have to say the title of your poem is very powerful. The use of imagery is amazing. You make very realistic and logical connections to the Dream world and reality that make sense. It seems you have been listening to the song," I'm Beaming" by Lupe Fiasco. I feel the same themes and elements in that song is in this poem, which I think is excellent. The flow is amazing too, and I feel I can see myself rapping off of this poem. Great job my friend. You wrote a very powerful piece of writing.
You get....::
:::::: out of 5. I hope my feedback helps you become a better writer.-MasterSaruwatari